Is ranking family members really necessary?

Last week I spotted an article titled "Do you put your hubby or your child first?"

Thankfully, it wasn't the article I expected. 

The author had noticed the same thing I noticed some time back - that a new trend had emerged. A trend which ranks the order of your love. 

The article reads:

"If you claim you put your children first, you’re Martyr Mummy, running yourself to a ragged standstill  accommodating your children’s whims, then swatting away your husband’s tiresome sexual advances in favour of a bottle of wine (or two – right, girls?) and a resentful flick through your collection of Ryan Gosling memes.

"The racier reply, popular with celebs, is to beam sunnily that you put your relationship before the children. Which is meant to signal to the world that you’re still the frisky little lovebirds you always were prior to little Liam or Madeleine’s arrival."

Celebrities such as Keith Urban and Giuliana Rancic as well as several writers and journalists have been forthcoming in proclaiming the latter. 

Though research suggests that - when asked - most people identify with the former. That is to say they put their children first, but does that mean they love them more? Or just differently? 

Or more to the point, why are they being asked in the first place? 

Do we really need to start ranking our loved ones? 

The question offends me almost as much as the ever-popular, "do you have a favourite child?"

Most of us have a lot of love to give. And some of us are blessed enough to have many loved ones to whom we can offer that love. 

Proclaiming who you love the most - and even having a personal ranking system - is, to me, an absurd concept. 

But what about you? Do you have a favourite child or purposefully order the love for your children and partner? Or do you find such questions as off-putting as I do? 

Hands Up For Miracle Babies

When I was asked to be an ambassador for the Miracle Babies Foundation a few years ago I was both honoured and proud. 

Miracle Babies Foundation is Australia’s leading organisation supporting premature and sick newborns, their families and the hospitals that care for them.

Miracle Month of May is the organisation's national awareness campaign that highlights the struggles faced by over 45,000 Australian babies and their families each year.

Prematurity is the number one single cause of death in children.

Those who survive can face lifelong issues, challenges and disabilities including cerebral palsy, health issues, behavioural disorders, failure to thrive and difficulties at school and long term stress for the family.

Miracle Babies cares for these families from pregnancy till the children are 6 years of age and then beyond.

It is the only provider of care and support specific to these families and the only organisation working with neonatal health professionals on education, training and research which has international recognition.

Miracle May includes the following initiatives. Your support can make such a huge impact. 

Hands Up for Miracles - Become a regular giver for just $5 a week

Donations accepted - www.miraclebabies.org.au or by phoning 1300 622 243

Miracle Babies Merchandise - For sale at Best & Less stores Nationally

1-16 May              Champions of Kangaroo Care Photo Comp 

3 May                   WA Charity Golf Day, Perth

12 May                 Mother’s Day gift for all families in an Australian Neonatal Intensive Care Unit

14 May                 Volunteer Meeting, Melbourne and Perth

14-18 May            National Volunteers Week

16 May                 Volunteer Meeting, Adelaide

15 May                 International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day

16 May                 Winner of Champions of Kangaroo Care Photo Competition Announced

18 May                 Annual Ball, Sydney

19 May                 Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon, Sydney

 24 May                Pregnancy, Babies and Children Expo, Sydney

 26 May                HBF Run for a Reason, Perth

Sneaky Pumpkin Muffins

One of my biggest parenting challenges has been getting my eldest to eat his vegetables.  In fact healthy snacks in general hasn't been all that easy. 

I admit to being fairly naive when he was first beginning solids and snacks and relied far too heavily on the "babies and toddlers" isle in the supermarket. 

And with my own penchant for packaged goods, I considered the little fruit bars and rice cakes to be healthy snack options for him. 

Fast forward a couple of years and while he loves his fruit, he's also developed his own little taste for packaged fruit bars and other not-so-healthy snacks. 

I took a different approach the second time around and my youngest has much healthier taste buds. 

But with my recent decision to reduce packaged foods and increase my fresh food intake (which I wrote about here), I've began thinking outside the square when it comes to cooking - both for myself and my children. 

So, for anyone else with fussy little eaters, I've decided to share my most successful recipes here. They'll have been tested on the toughest critic! 

This one has been a huge hit. It's a snack - or treat - and has the tick of approval from Beau's kindergarten, whose healthy eating policy is fairly strict. 

Let me know what you think and please do share your own healthy recipes - I need all the help I can get!

Choc-chip Pumpkin Muffins

Ingredients:

2 cups wholemeal (or regular) flour 

1/4 cup raw sugar

1/2 cup milk

1/4 cup dark chocolate chips

1/2 pumpkin

1 egg (beaten)

1/4 cup olive (grape seed, canola) oil

Method:

Chop up pumpkin and steam until soft. Mash in a bowl and put aside to cool. 

Combine flour and sugar;

Add milk, egg and oil and stir until combined;

Fold in mashed pumpkin;

Add chocolate chips;

Grease or spray small muffin tin or line with cupcake papers and spoon in mixture;

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes (depending on your oven!)

Fear Overrides Pain

My youngest son has a cheeky habit of spilling water out of his sippy cup.

It's annoying. Usually because it's a pain to constantly clean up water. It also creates dirty footprints.

Annoying.

But yesterday, the problems associated with spilt water increased somewhat.

As I picked up speed to catch up to my little monster for his nappy change, I slipped on said water, and before I knew it felt a pain so searing, it seemed as though the world around me was disappearing.

I couldn't quite tell where the pain was coming from, but I did know that I'd hit the corner of our stone bench top on the way down.

I knew my vision was fading, the room was spinning and I felt close to losing consciousness.

But I only had one thing on my mind: get to a phone.

Get to a phone before you pass out, leaving your two little boys to fend for themselves for God knows how long.

As it was I could already see terror in my eldest son's eyes and inexplicably my youngest ran straight for the Christmas tree and pulled it over, breaking a glass bauble and sending me into further panic that he was going to cut himself.

As I tried to remain composed and encourage my boys to help me find the phone (near delirious I had no idea where it was), I pulled my hand away from my head, only to find it covered in blood.

Unaware of where it was coming from, all I could think about was getting someone home for my kids.

Since becoming a mother, it's been one of my greatest fears that I might become unconscious, leaving my boys alone and scared.

But although it's been a horrifying thought, in all honesty I didn't really consider it a likely possibility.

Until now.

As it turned out, the top of my cheek bone hit the corner of the bench.  It was pierced and required stitches.

Despite my confusion I was able to get to the phone and my husband, who had only just left for work, was home quickly and we were off to the hospital.

Had I fallen two inches to ether side, I could have hit my temple, or my eye and could easily have been knocked unconscious.

My children would have had no idea what to do. We have never discussed it.

It's now a top priority to teach my boys what to do if Mummy isn't ok.  To them how to use the phone and call 000.

I read about a case recently where a little boy's mother had been knocked unconscious, he'd remembered the emergency number from watching Fireman Sam and was able to save his mother - and perhaps himself.

There's no shortage of accidents that could happen with children unsupervised.  It's a terrifying prospect.

But while I was lying in the hospital with plenty of time to think, it hit me how much the fear for my children's wellbeing over-rid the intensity of the pain I felt.

My fear for them also kept me in control of myself and the situation, not succumbing to my personal fear of what condition I was in (at that stage I had no idea from where I was bleeding and could barley see in front of me).

I feel strengthen by this, as I usually panic easily, I don't handle pain well.

Today, while I feel worse for wear, with an achey body, sore head and unwavering groggy tiredness, I feel indescribably relieved that I didn't leave my children in an extremely vulnerable position, without any knowledge of what steps to take.

So now it's time to teach them.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Each year when November rolls around and shopping centres begin adorning the ceilings with Christmas decorations, I often hear people complain.

"The decorations are up too early," they say.

"I don't even want to think about Christmas," say others.

"Not another Christmas Carol!" also a commonly heard gripe.

Yet when I see the glitter of that first piece of tinsel - I feel a surge of excitement.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas comes to mind and my mood instantly lifts.

I look forward to hearing the repetitive sounds of Little Drummer Boy and White Christmas.

This year, I couldn’t even wait until the month’s end to put up the Christmas tree – a tradition I’ve relished since I was a little girl.  And with my two little boys now old enough to participate, I simply couldn't resist. 

I blasted Bing Crosby's carols (downloaded to my iPhone) feeling ever so blessed as I watched my the unmistakable joy on my children’s faces as the Christmas Tree lights were turned on.

I wish I could bottle that feeling, indescribable though it is.

I truly am a Christmas tragic.

Christmas has always been a huge deal for my family. My brothers and I would wake at the break of dawn, ensuring my parents did the same, so we could empty the contents of our Christmas stockings.

A tradition we couldn't bring ourselves to let go of until we moved out of home – funnily enough Santa kept on coming.

I continued to love Christmas all through my teens and beyond, almost skipping through the crowded malls as I chose presents for my friends and family.

Not much has changed.  Aside from the size of my family and the chaos of my life, which has made Christmas shopping all the more frantic.

I still enjoy watching corny Christmas movies and even admit to throwing on a pair Christmas earrings on the big day.

There's something about Christmas and the lead-up to it that fills me with happiness.  

It's about family and togetherness and celebration. The environment changes, along with the weather, and everything seems that little bit brighter.

And everyone - despite complaints of busy malls and last minute shopping - seems that little bit more joyful, with a ready smile and a Merry Christmas wish.

Have your decorations gone up yet?  Do you love or loathe the pre-Christmas rush?