Sunday, 19 May 2013

Is ranking family members really necessary?

Last week I spotted an article titled "Do you put your hubby or your child first?"

Thankfully, it wasn't the article I expected. 

The author had noticed the same thing I noticed some time back - that a new trend had emerged. A trend which ranks the order of your love. 

The article reads:

"If you claim you put your children first, you’re Martyr Mummy, running yourself to a ragged standstill  accommodating your children’s whims, then swatting away your husband’s tiresome sexual advances in favour of a bottle of wine (or two – right, girls?) and a resentful flick through your collection of Ryan Gosling memes.

"The racier reply, popular with celebs, is to beam sunnily that you put your relationship before the children. Which is meant to signal to the world that you’re still the frisky little lovebirds you always were prior to little Liam or Madeleine’s arrival."

Celebrities such as Keith Urban and Giuliana Rancic as well as several writers and journalists have been forthcoming in proclaiming the latter. 

Though research suggests that - when asked - most people identify with the former. That is to say they put their children first, but does that mean they love them more? Or just differently? 

Or more to the point, why are they being asked in the first place? 

Do we really need to start ranking our loved ones? 

The question offends me almost as much as the ever-popular, "do you have a favourite child?"

Most of us have a lot of love to give. And some of us are blessed enough to have many loved ones to whom we can offer that love. 

Proclaiming who you love the most - and even having a personal ranking system - is, to me, an absurd concept. 

But what about you? Do you have a favourite child or purposefully order the love for your children and partner? Or do you find such questions as off-putting as I do? 


  1. I share your distaste for the question of favourites among children. but as far as the other business goes, it's my children without question. My children come before anything and anyone. period.

  2. I find it disgusting when people have favourite kids. How can that be possible? You might have different relationships with each child, some may be more difficult but that should be the extent of it.